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Avenue Q It Sucks to be Me

by Rusty Banks

Just so we’re clear, it DOES Suck to be me! and apparently you as well

It sucks when you have 4th row center seats and you’ve got the audacity to think you can get drinks for 4 and STILL make it to your seats in the 45 seconds before the lights go out and the music comes up. Ooooops. So instead, toes are crushed, nasty new yorker’s are, well nasty new yorkers, and you seek anonymity in the dark as you settle into you seat. If only.

aveqQuickly you discover that the conversation you were having on 50th street on the way to the theatre was word for word the opening number of a crew of satirical muppet-like characters and their human handlers. “It Sucks to be me”, to be not special, to have the same dreams as everyone else, blah, blah blah. OK – let’s settle in and see where this goes.

(wait, did you remember to go to the bathroom?)

And off they went, puppets (animals) and people (people) living a little bit of their lives right in front of you, hitting on coming out of the closet (guess which single male “muppet-like” characters were features in these dreamy sequences, to a candid admission that “Everyone’s a little bit racist” – and maybe if we all got over that we’d be ok.  What Avenue Q did was a couple of steps above fortune cookie philosophy, and a couple of steps below actual high level thought. “Perfect for those poor bastards with sore toes and no drinks I passed on the way in! I’m sooooo smart. ”

But wait, if the show’s so amusing, why am I starting to get so antsy, unable to sit still?

Quick question, what are you going to do after you read (and share this story on Facebook and twitter and such)? you’ll realize that “The Internet is for Porn” another poignant Avenue Q life lesson.  By this point you’re probably get the gist of where the play is going, (and suddenly if you’re anything like me you might be seriously be thinking about whether you should have gone to the bar or the bathroom, starting to understand to “ansty-ness, and hoping it’s not a one-act play). Not so smart now am I! sitting in the front and the middle, no getting to the aisle till intermission – it sucks to be me!

From there is clever number (gotta go), really clever number (gotta go), sorta sappy tune (gotta go right now!) straight to intermission.

Post intermission was a wholly different experience. A fresh round of drink, a little more introspection and we’re out. Stop your whining, your not that special and if you’d read a little more existential philosophy at home you could get the same message (albeit without a sh-tload of laughs along the way ) BUT you could get up and pee without a second thought.

Remember – in one way or another, we all live on Avenue Q remember – It Sucks to be YOU!

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