Ice Age – Continental Drift or “Ape-ocalypse Now”?
What could be better in the midst of a sweltering summer Sunday than a trip to the theater for a cartoon movie with the kid? If you’ve read any of my Stubstories before you may know that I’m not so secretly jealous of all those Lions and Tigers, Giraffes and Donkeys making big time Hollywood money on the backs of movies which are 90 percent animation and 10 percent inspiration.
But Ice Age – now here’s a movie with EVERYTHING (sans inspiration). Now don’t get me wrong, my kid loved it “The Best one Yet” was her quote, and I did get a 45 minute nap – till she busted me – but seriously, do I really have to answer questions about whether the world can really crack apart at the seams, leaving mountains collapsing, tearing families apart, etc.
This remake of Kevin Costner’s epic Waterworld was profoundly trite, and if it wasn’t for the slapstick element it was have had NO elements whatsoever. I mean it’s nice when the Elephant family is re-united (oops did I give that away?) but the marauding evil Ape with the iceberg boat of animal pirates was the spitting image of Dennis Hopper on that wreck of an aircraft carrier and let’s face it folks, the only thing that drifted in this pic was my attention, unless you count the storyline. True I did nap, but my daughter filled me in on the details and without the squishing and splatting of the occasional critter, the highlight for her was the 15 seconds Nicki Minaj was on the screen during the credits.
Summer will be over soon, and once football starts I pity the studios pumping out these dopey animated flicks. Cause my little girl’s gonna watch the J-E-T-S make complete asses out of themselves as is her family tradition, and the world will end every Sunday, unless Tebow really does know someone upstairs!